Among his other accomplishments, Woody Allen is famous for his one-liners such as the following:

-I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
-If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
-The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
-There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
-I don't want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying.
-What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
-Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
-94.5% of all statistics are made up.
-I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
-I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.