Headline Humor
In today's crisis-filled world, headlines often seem only to add to the list of issues we have to worry about. But there are also headlines--real headlines-- that (albeit unintentionally) lead to some smiles.
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
President Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan
Antique Stripper To Demonstrate Wares At Store
Mayor Says D.C. Is Safe Except For Murders
Neighbors Said Sniper Not Very Neighborly
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to Do Better
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

