Having Fun with Language
We steadily hear the message that kids must build up their language skills if they want to go to a good college; if they want to get a good job; if they want to be successful in life. All true.
But "good language" is also a tremendous source of fun. Where would jokes be without it? And, as the following one-liners show us, a remarkably few words have the power to make us smile:
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
You can't have everything; where would you put it?
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
Gravity always gets me down.
They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
