Some More Musings from George Carlin
George Carlin, an endless source of laughs, often provides interesting insights into words. Here are a few:
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him-is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
