"How Can I Convince My Child?"
I was speaking to a father whose 11 year old son had significant language problems--problems severe enough to keep the child mired at a first grade level of reading. The father asked, "Do you think your Phonics Plus Five program might help my son?"
I told him that while he could only find out by trying, the prospects were good. I knew from personal experience with large numbers of families that it led many children to successful reading--even after they had been failing for years.
Then, plaintively he asked a second question, "How can I convince my child to try it?"
This eminently reasonable query reflected the intense pain that flows from a history of repeated tries and repeated failures. As anyone who has experienced reading disability knows, the problems are not confined to the achievement of reading. The effects on self-esteem and confidence are unbelievably pernicious. Still, it is possible to overcome both the disability and its motivational fallout.
I outlined the path that I have often suggested to the many families who have to deal with these issues. In setting out on this path, it is important to keep in mind the incredibly intense desire all children have to learn to read. Miraculously, this desire is never totally extinguished--even after endless failure. But the situation must be handled carefully and honestly. It is vital NOT to promise success--since there is no way that you can guarantee it. Hence you never say, "I have here something that is really going to work."
Instead it is far better to be up front while at the same time, making your child a partner in the new endeavor. It can be enormously helpful to say, "I have a system for teaching reading that is very different from everything we've done before. If you're willing to try it, and if it is right for you, within six to eight weeks, you will see a major change in your ability to do both read and write."
Under these conditions, most children are willing to try. They are skeptical--and they are right to be skeptical. Since nothing has worked till this point, there is little reason for them to expect it to change. But, because of the strong desire to master this vital skill, they still have some hope. And once they see the changes taking place, their involvement and effort soar.
There is one more action you can take --in helping your child deal with the situation. It's quite simple--yet dramatic. You can video the sessions. Generally often within the first teaching session, you will see your child relax and begin to work with an ease you have rarely seen. You can also show the video to your child--and let him or her see the change in behavior. It's great to keep the videos and after several weeks, sit back and view them with your child. The change will be obvious. Artistically, it may not make the grade--but it is likely to be the best film you ever watched.
