Here are some quotes on reading from the hilarious comedian Stephen Wright:

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say "How to Build a Boat."

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that."

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."